TTC: A fresh start

Now my cysts have been removed and my ovaries have got a bit of breathing space, I am trying to put the last 14 months TTC behind me and see this as a fresh start.

The next few months I am going to stay positive, believe I can get pregnant, and try to stop obsessing like I have in the past. I have bought all sorts of TTC aids over the last year including:

*Ovulation predictor kits (OPKS)
*Pregnancy tests (ha, ha!) - both internet cheapies and the digital ones,
*Sperm friendly lubricant Pre-Seed
*Nutrition boosting conception vitamins
*TTC books - The Baby-Making Bible and Taking Charge Of Your Fertility
*Basal body thermometer to chart my cycles

Over the next few posts I am going to take a look at some of these and try and dish out some advice for those of you who are considering spending your hard earned money on them. I am also going to buy Bump & Grind which I've been recommended as a humorous take on TTC and we all need a little bit of humour in this process!

Laparoscopy advice

It's been 9 days since my laparoscopy and I am slowly beginning to join the real world again. The surgery went well, they removed both dermoid cysts, and the doctor said that everything looked good in there - no PCOS or endometriosis which is a relief.

They made once incision in my belly button, a few below my pubic line and another small one on the left of my belly, which I think was just for the drainage tube. I was under for about and hour and a half and then spent the night and most of the next day in hospital.

The first night was rough. They gave me morphine to combat the pain and then when I got up to use the bathroom I almost passed out and had to be wheeled back to bed. The next 5 days I slowly recovered my mobility but didn't leave the house and now I still have some pain and stiffness - especially at night - but I can get on with everyday life.

Here is some laparoscopy advice for anyone who is going in, to for dermoid cyst removal, or just for investigations:

*Ask questions - consultants have a tendency to skim over the details so don't be afraid to ask lots of    questions and make sure you are clear about what is happening

*Get used to waiting - You will probably be used to waiting already but once you get to hospital there is just more of it. I went in at 11.00am but didn't have my operation until 5pm

*Take time off - Everyone recovers differently but I would suggest clearing at least a week just to rest.

*Expect pregnant women - Because of the way the wards work you can be surrounded by pregnant women which can be a bit hard to deal with

Having a laparocopy hasn't been a pleasant experience but it's not really that bad and I am really glad my dermoid cysts are out and, hopefully, my body will be in a better position to get back to baby dancing.

Cysts and sisters!

Wow, it's been two months since my last post! So what's been happening? A holiday in Cornwall, a new car, but most importantly:

*My little sister is 4 months pregnant

*I'm going in for surgery tomorrow

I am sorry to admit that my first reaction when I found out my sister is pregnant wasn't 'what brilliant news' but 'it should be me'. I felt guilty feeling that way but it is really difficult to deal with. Knowing that she is going to give my Mum her first grandchild and all the baby 'firsts' from then on. I am happy for her and being supportive but it hurts and there is no escaping it.

This weekend was particularly difficult as I went home to see my sister and also went to a friend's 30th birthday who is pregnant too. There was another pregnant girl there, who conceived in a few months and a guy who only got married in January and his wife is already 4 months pregnant. I feel such a failure when everyone around me seems to have no trouble getting pregnant and it does, as crazy as it may sound to someone who hasn't experienced it, make me feel like less of a woman. 

I am having my laparoscopy tomorrow to remove my dermoid cyst and I just want to get it done now and hopefully get some answers about what's going on. I am not looking forward to the recovery but it has felt like everything has been on hold the last few months and I just want to get out the other side now. 

The positive side of this whole situation is how supportive and wonderful my friends and family have been. When I have told people about the surgery I have decided to explain about the TTC and having it out in the open has made it easier for me.

Hopefully I can start making some positive steps forward with TTC now and look forward to welcoming a niece of nephew in November.